What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
12.06.2025 02:56
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
(And it was in our own minds.)
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
I couldn’t, believe it.
Why is there no evidence of a multiverse theory?
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
She married twice! .
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Is Matt Gaetz qualified to be Attorney General of the United States?
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
I never cut or harmed myself..
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
What World Does Bitcoin Want To Build For Itself? - Defector
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I was very sick at this time too.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
But ive been too sick for many years..
But it wasn’t much.
State of Play Confirmed for 4th June, 40+ Minutes of PS5 Games - Push Square
It was going to be , some day.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
Enhanced Box Score: Phillies 4, Cubs 3 – June 9, 2025 - Bleacher Nation
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Resilience may protect against psychopathic traits in people with childhood trauma - PsyPost
When she asked me how she looked .
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
This is soul school!.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
How do I change a truck’s engine oil?
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
What happens to single guys when they get older?
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
Is it true that most Indian men are gay and they just hide their feelings?
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
What did i know ?
Was Michael Jackson really an innocent person?
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
So whats the point in blame.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I will be 64.
Who then, do I blame.?
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
One cannot live in the past .
Put me off passion for life!!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
I was 9 years of age.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
My family never makes their pension either.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Im still living with it.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
She loved him until the end.
So, i spoilt her more .
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
I think the readers, may guess!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
She was in good health!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
I don,t even have a pension.
Especially a lifetime of it.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I write beautiful poetry .
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
But, we were locked up after school.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Why did i forgive my father ?
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
She wouldn,t have been !
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I said to her
Where the ultimate outsiders.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
She found it foreign!.
As i do to all so called friends.?
And i lived it daily.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
They are buried together, in the same grave..
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
My life is so biszare .
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Comes on , in middle age.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Ive learnt so much.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
And who doesn’t know suffering?
My mum and dad in the seventies!
We all went to grammer schools
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
He resisted the act ,that day.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
He knew the spot.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
I was seconnd youngest,
I waited trembling.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Would this be the day?
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
All the time i was locked up.
I have no regrets .
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
We were not on the streets..
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Was to survive, this bastard.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I could never make a relationship work though!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I was scared of men, in general
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.